


Arsonist's  Lullabye

by waxjaw



Category: Tribe Twelve
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Its a bit sporadic, M/M, a little evan at least, i wasnt sure if i would finish this so im glad i did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:53:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21775522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waxjaw/pseuds/waxjaw
Summary: Vaguely he thinks there was never a parasite and that Kevin simply makes him unexplainably happy.
Relationships: Milo Asher | Mr. Scars/Kevin Haas | The Observer
Kudos: 15





	Arsonist's  Lullabye

[ When I was a child I heard voices. Some would sing and some would scream. ]   
  
Its monday, he gropes at his bedside table until he has his journal in hand. Tugging it over he scrambles to unlock it and grab his pen so he can write out what he can remember from the dream.   
" _Fuck_ ," it's weak and his hands shake too much for anything he writes to be read later. It doesn't matter, its a parasite stuck to his hand and scribbling on to the lined paper is the only way to get it off.   
  
By the time he drops the pen he isnt alone in his room anymore. The parasite has let go of his hands and head but his hands shake until the man (really he isnt sure what he is) stills them with his own. They don't talk, _he_ seems to understand that Milo really is too shaken to even bother trying.   
  
His eyes burn from what was probably a sobbing fit that he can't remember. It wouldn't be the first time and he wouldn't be surprised if that was what got the figure surrounded by shadows and possibly made of them to come to his room. Really though theres a plethora of possible reasons for him to be sitting on Milo's bed looking calmer than Milo thinks he's ever been able to be, he's a bit jealous.   
  
"Here," it's gentle as a glass cup filled with cold water is pressed to his hand. He cant pretend that this isn't something he needed quite a bit. His hands almost shake enough for him to drop the glass but he manages.  
  
They go back to sitting silently while Milo lets the drink be a crutch he uses to catch himself and get his thinking and breathing back on track. It doesn't take long before dropping the glass on his bedside table so he can pull his legs up to his chest and hug them.   
  
"Should I be worried about you? Uh, you look like one of the shitheads that have been fucking with me," he's dropping his head to rest on his arm as he talks. He doesn't think he needs to worry but he's still shaking from whatever he was dreaming about. He vaguely remembers Noah and one of the shitheads he mentioned and it _scares_ him.   
He doesn't think its possible for noah to be pulled into this but he doesn't want to risk thinking of what would happen if he did. He doesn't want to put noah his cousin, a best friend in danger. He wouldn't be able to live with that guilt.  
  
"I'm a renegade enough that you don't need worry, I wouldn't help if I wanted you left in a weak state."   
  
He moves to sit a little closer before Milo is being pulled into a tight hug. He doesn't remember needing one but he's so happy to not feel alone and abandoned as he does. There's an arm behind his back and neck pulling him close and it vaguely reminds him of Noah.  
  
[ You soon find you have few choices. I learned the voices died with me. ]   
  
  
"Are you sure you're good man?"   
Kevin is frowning a little as he tears his attention away from his textbook in favor of offering it to Milo instead. He should be focusing on his homework too but he can't, not really.   
  
"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?"   
He shrugs frowning a little as he looks over at kevin. His head is painfully silent to a point where he's almost ready to give in to them. Its silent though which means he doesn't have to deal with his regular train of thought. He can focus on working, he can take Kevin's hand smiling as he squeezes it a little.   
  
"You've seemed out of it for a while, I just want to make sure you're okay."   
Kevin smiles, offering a squeeze back before he pushing his own textbook off his lap. He pushes Milo's off next before tugging him up off the bed. "We're going for a walk." Is all he offers before they're heading out of the house.   
  
His grip on Kevin's hand is tight and if they weren't holding hands, his would probably shake too much.   
  
"C'mon, deep breaths,"   
Milo doesn't realize that he's having trouble breathing until Kevin talks, pulling him to sit down on a patch of grass. It isn't hard to listen so he doesn't argue, he focuses on deep and slow breaths timed with how Kevin rolls his thumb over the back of his hand.   
  
It's a lot easier to breathe with Kevin sitting next to him.   
  
[ When I was a child, I'd sit for hours. Staring into open flame. Something in it had a power. Could barely tear my eyes away. ]  
  
Dragging his hand through his hair he's careful to keep his eyes open. Really it's not hard, he doesn't think he could sleep if he tried, its been quite a few months since he's slept properly.   
  
His eyes hurt from how bright the bonfire is compared to the night sky. His hands hurt from how cold the can of twisted tea is in his hand compared to the fire that he's stitting so close to.  
  
"Asher!"   
Evan drops his arm over his shoulder as he sits down next to him. It's enough to break his concentration, he grins angling his head so he can look over at him. He takes a second to clink his drink with Evan's before turning a little so he can clink his drink with Noah's who's sitting on his other side now. It doesn't matter that he's holding a can of stolen alcohol, his chest is light and he feels better than he has in months. Which really isn't much of an improvement.   
  
"How're you?" His attention is on Evan only but he can't help but think that Noah doesn't care. Not that Noah doesn't care about them but that he's relaxed enough to not worry. He can feel Evan shrug, it has him cocking his head so he can see him better.   
  
"How're _you_?"   
Despite his own worry for Evan he also shrugs. He can't help it, he can't think of anyway to convay what he means. "I've been alright, taking my meds n' shit no issue." There are issues but he doesn't say it, Evan doesn't pry.   
  
"Thats good, I'm glad youre doing okay." Evan knocks his drink into Milo's before finish it off. Milo takes it as an excuse to down the last mouthful of his own before he's dropping the can on to the grass with Evan's.   
  
"I'll grab us more,"   
He doesn't make an effort to watch Evan leave. His eyes are focused on the fire again as he tries to surpress the nagging feeling that he isn't actually safe here. His mind his hazy though and he has quite a bit of trouble justifying his worry when Noah asks.   
  
He vaguely thinks that the parasite stuck to him is also stuck to Evan.  
  
He hopes it isn't.  
  
[ All you have is your fire. And the place you need to reach. Don't you ever tame your demons. But always keep them on a leash. ]  
  
He wakes up on a boardwalk. He hands are caked with blood that still seems fresh, it doesnt stop him from trying to wipe his nose though. His hand comes back caked with another fresh layer of blood and he thinks this is worse than he originally thought.   
  
Digging his nails into the boards under him he pushes himself to his feet, again a hand by the figure is the only thing that keeps things from getting worse. "I need to get out of here-" it's choked up and his throat hurts. He probably should be embarassed but the other just nods before they're walking down the boardwalk.   
  
He tries to ignore the familiarity sinking in as they walk. He tries to ignore the consistant feeling of every move they make being watched. "Who are you?" He stumbles over it for a good minute before it's out. The god (he has trouble thinking of him as anything less by now) looks down at him, a frown tugging at what he can only assume are lips.   
  
"You'll remember later, you don't need to worry."   
He was too shaken, exhausted to answer and the only reason Milo can still walk is the support he gives. Theres no doubt that he's being helped and he doesn't ask to make sure.   
  
[ When I was sixteen, my senses fooled me. Though gasoline was on my clothes. I knew that something would always rule me. I knew this scent was mine alone. ]   
  
"Milo are you okay?"   
He nods but Kevin moves so they're sitting with their shoulder's pressed together. His arm sits under Kevin's as he holds his friends hand. They're probably more than friends now but niether of them have gone through the effort to make it official. He just focuses on rolling his thumb over kevin's knuckles while he breathes.   
  
Kevin doesn't seem bothered by the lack of response, he just focuses on breathing slowly so Milo has some form of referance. "I don't want you to have to deal with what I've been dealing with," it's only just above a murmur. His voice cracks and he can't stop the tears that lead to his eyes hurting as much as they do.   
  
"what?"   
Kevin asks before moving so they're sitting facing eachother. "Milo, we're going to get through this okay?" He keeps his voice gentle rolling his thumb over Milo's knuckles, his free hand cupping his cheek.   
  
"We're going to get through this and we'll do it together yeah?"   
  
"yeah."   
His response is quieter than he thinks it should be but Kevin _grins at him_ and he understands why this is all worth it. Cupping Kevin's cheeks he pulls his partner into a kiss and he can't help but grin.   
  
His chest swells as he leans back, its so much easier to breathe. Grabbing the remote Kevin is quick to get a show they enjoy watching together up on the tv. The cuddling on the couch they do makes it worth being alive and he's overwhelmed by just how much love he has for Kevin.   
  
Its terrifying and so so exhilarating.   
  
[ All you have is your fire. And the place you need to reach. ]  
  
"You- you aren't supposed to be here!" Milo doesn't get the chance to answer before he's being pushed down the walk that he's quite a bit more comfortble with than he should be. There's no introductions, the man is too focused on pushing him down the familiar walk way.   
  
" _What_?" Milo sputters before he's pushed quite a bit harder. He's starting to regret not taking his meds like he should. Really he doesn't understand why his mom damands he takes the meds instead of letting him change his prescription but its what it is.   
  
"I'm happy to see you! I promise I am but he wont be happy to see you here-"   
Theres an abrupt stop and Milo has to stumble so he can catch himself. He stops just short of tripping and slamming face first into the wood under him. "Or! He might actually be happy to see you, he probably will and we really don't want that."   
  
" _Noah_?" He spits out as he's pushed again. Peices of a puzzle he wasnt aware he was putting together fall in place. The shadowy figure is Noah and so is this. Logically he knows that he realized this quite a while ago but now its confirmed. This is Noah and so is that god who helped him out of here the last time.  
  
"Yeah! You got it quicker than I expected! Or did Firebrand tell you that?" Noah doesn't seem to care that they're talking because Milo is being pushed again, almost too fast for him to keep up with.   
  
He turns so he can shove Noah off, he can't help but scowl. "Fuck! You're being an asshole." Hes quick to stumble back and push space between him and his cousin so he doesn't have to worry about loosing his footing and breaking something. He's done that already and he doesn't want to again.  
  
"We can't let it find you here, give me your hand," Noah rocks on his feet as he talks and its obvious he's getting annoyed. "Firebrand has put a lot of effort into helping you! C'mon!"   
  
He doesn't get the chance to respond before Noah takes him by the hand and pulls him along. He must have realized his mistake though because now he's easier to keep up with and rambles about how much he likes the frogs he sees.   
  
Noah makes an effort to make it clear that he won't eat the frogs.  
  
[ Don't you ever tame your demons. Always keep them on a leash. ]  
  
He doesn't try to keep his eyes open, instead letting himself focus on how nice it feels to have Kevin run his fingers through his hair. Kevin pulls at the elastic wrapped loosely around his hair before tugging it until he has more room to work. The movie still plays on the tv but he really cant focus on it enough to worry about what he's missed.   
  
Angling his head he leans up so he can press a kiss to Kevin's lips. It's quick and gentle but it has him moving to sit with his legs on either side of Kev's. The other leans forward a little pressing his forehead to Milo's. It has him grinning, his chest is light and he can't imagine being anywhere but here right now.   
  
"I love you," its quiet, Milo doesn't say it as often as he should but he can hear Kevin's breath hitch and its clear it's appreciated that he said it.   
  
"I love you too," Milo doesn't get the chance to respond before Kevin is pulling him into a kiss. His own breathe catches in his throat as he pulls away to catch himself.   
  
[ When i was a man I thought it ended. When I knew loves perfect ache. ]  
  
He's tired of the lack of control he really has over everything. The lack of control he has over himself. He walks, really this is the only place he can get himself free from it for a little. He doesn't mind though, theres something about not remembering so much that makes things feel like a break for him.   
  
"Milo," Firebrand stands with his back straight and shoulders square despite his hand being in his pockets. He's guarded and as much as its painful to think about, Milo can't blame him. Firebrand scares him too.  
  
"Noah,"   
Those aren't their name's anymore but they use them so they can _pretend_ for a little while that they're alright.  
  
They can pretend that Firebrand isn't covered in eyes that he shouldn't have. They can pretend that Milo doesn't need to worry about being out of control.   
  
He doesn't have the chance to add anything before he's pulled into a tight hug. Being embraced shouldn't hit him so hard but his eyes ache and if he wasn't so familiar with how that felt exactly he would be baffled as to why.   
  
Really he shouldn't be able to cry and the fact that he does startles him out of it.   
  
He doesn't loosen his grip. He's missed Noah over the years and it feels so so good to have his cousin and best friend here.   
  
It feels so so good to not be alone and afraid.  
  
[ But my peace has always depended. On all the ashes in my wake. ]  
  
He can't sleep, he's been trying for what feels like days even though his alarm clock tells him that its only been a few hours. Still it's more hours than he thinks he should spend trying to sleep.   
  
There's a lot he's lost track of, really he can't blame the meds Mary had him on but he does. Rolling over he wraps his arms around Kevin pulling him closer. He doesn't think this will make it easier for him to sleep but he's comfortble and it's easy to relax. It's easy to not worry about looking over his shoulder.   
  
It's easier to understand that the parasite once attactched to his hands and brain is gone. The parasite that made him worry so so much has been scared off by Kevin and he owes him so much for that.   
  
Vaguely he thinks there was never a parasite and that Kevin simply makes him unexplainably happy.   
  
His chest swells with love and when Kevin asks if he's okay because he's crying it only leads him to spilling more out of his system.   
  
It feels so so terrifying and exhilarating   
  
[ All you have is your fire. And the place you need to reach. Don't you dare tame your demons. But always keep them on a leash. ]


End file.
